How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
