i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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