chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
