Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
