Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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