I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
