Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
