Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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