Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Randomize
