While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I would ride that face into the sunset
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize
