Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
