i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
And the cops told us we were all naked.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
