Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Randomize
