why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
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