that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Randomize
