Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
