3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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