There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
They left me at home... I'm a liability
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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