white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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