can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
