Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
