PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
