New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
