bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
