You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize
