she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
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