Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
