i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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