I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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