girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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