Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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