you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
