i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Randomize
