If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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