Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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