So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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