I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
