Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Randomize
