ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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