I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Four minutes until I can fart!
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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