dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
