didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
