i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
