She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
