someone get that fucking seahorse.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
