everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
