Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
