There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
