That's intense
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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