Do you still have your period?
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
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